Post 13 - Are there Simply Too Many Options?

 Post 13 - 

A Mennonite Church

Are there Simply Too Many Options?

Much like the overwhelming selection of 100 to 200 cereal options in a grocery store, the variety of church styles today is vast. When there was just one community church, it served as a central hub for worship, social life, and support, fostering a sense of unity and shared purpose. Now, with so many churches offering different styles of worship, doctrines, and approaches to community life, it can lead to fragmentation.

This diversity likely stems from the desire to cater to different preferences and spiritual needs. While I won’t delve into the history of how each denomination or individual church formed its unique format, I will say that my husband and I have visited many different types of churches over the years and now have a few thoughts and opinions about them.

(We job transferred three times and in each new location, we visited a number of churches before choosing one.)

We all worship the same God, but do it differently.  Of course, what matters are the basics. But atmosphere matters too.

As I lay in bed last night mulling over this topic, I reflected on a number of church settings I've visited:

1. Church plant using a school auditorium: (We visited more than one of these). 

My be hot without air conditioning, uncomfortable chairs, and strange acoustics. Heavy reliance on parishioners to set up, tear down, and help with childcare or teaching. There’s constant pastoral pressure for more involvement and outreach, making it feel temporary.

2. Church in large facility: 

Generally a very nice space with rooms for every activity. Still some pressure to volunteer. Cliques form between long-time members and newcomers, making it hard to connect. While it feels like a proper church, the larger crowd can leave you feeling like a spectator, unsure how to meet people or fit in.

3. Church in a movie theatre (with or without popcorn): Not a feeling of full church experience. Feels temporary. Fun for a while. 

4. Church startup in shared facility: Feels copycat. Often use same format as larger churches ie. standard worship team approach. Same popular worship songs. Full church feeling not possible. Pressure for outreach, giving, participation. (There will be no Cubbie Bear club in this church as my son participated in when he was five.) 

5. Church in a commercial building with satellite feed but on-campus worship team: Feels like something's missing in the full church experience. People don't inteact which is okay for introverts who just want to sit in church. 

Spectator feeling. Unsure how engagement works. Offputting when someone from the main campus talks about activities there when you never plan to attend the main campus yourself. I was asked, "Are you a Creeker?" (Church was named Creekside.) I didn't know how to answer. 

6. Church in large renovated facility from the same denomination you were brought up in and found to be legalistic: 

Since you know the kind of thinking of some of these people, you fear getting to know these people. You wonder if the same old beliefs are there hidden by the new makeover.

7. Old church building: You can't help but smell old person on the cushioned seats and you wonder how often they're cleaned. You hear creaky floors. It's all new to you so you're skeptical. The music drags and the music is a little off key and uninspiring.

8. Small church meeting in rented facility: This church may have moved around a bit trying to find home. Interaction is good as prayer requests are taken from those seated. Intimate, but too intimate for some who are unsure of their commitment. 

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Valid considerations:

Believe it or not, I’ve experienced every type of church described above. Choosing a church can be complicated. What should we look for? Most churches preach the Word, and if they don’t, we’d spot that quickly and move on. But the way the message is delivered can vary—some are more historical, others focus on life application, some are entertaining, while others are more conversational. And, though atmosphere isn’t everything, it definitely plays a role.

When there are many church options available, people might feel less inclined to commit to a single congregation. Instead, they might move from one church to another based on preferences like worship style, preaching, programs, or even social connections. Some research polls I came across recently mentioned some people attend more than one church regularly. I'm not against this buffet style of faith practice, I just wonder which church gets to count you in its attendance tallies? And, this kind of transient engagement may weaken the overall sense of belonging and accountability in church communities. 

Aging Out 

The church we switched to in Winnipeg was marketed as being for the under-40 crowd. It wasn’t designed to attract people like my husband and me, who had been Christians for years and were nearing 50. We often felt like the older ones in the room, unsure of where we fit. We liked the conversational style of delivery by the pastor and unique inventions such as having coffee time half way through the hour and having something called church in the round where seating was put in circular form.

I might have been 50 here. 

Attending this church until we moved again, we did wonder—where do people in their 50s go when they age out of these youthful churches?

In the subsequent churches we visited, it was much the same. The focus seemed to be on young families. I found myself longing to reconnect with those I grew up with in my youth group—people my age now. Where were they? Why do we seem to become irrelevant after 55?

Now, let me share another story. After our move, I had to rebuild again. Craving connection, I joined a daytime ladies' group at the Pentecostal church we chose. There were three study topics, and I chose one on friendships, thinking, ‘This is my chance to meet some new friends.'

By then, I was in my early 50s, and I sat eagerly waiting for the chairs to fill up. But one by one, women much older than me started arriving, most with silver hair. I was taken aback, feeling disappointed by the age gap. It wasn’t the connection I had hoped for—I had wanted to meet women closer to my age, but instead, I found myself in a room full of grandmothers.

Me around age 58.

Boomers Backing Out

Yes, I'm a boomer. Last night I read an article saying boomers are the highest group backing out of church over the last few years. It was eye-opening to read cause here I thought I was the only rebellious one stepping back. 

The articles offered many reasons for this trend, but my guess is that boomers are simply tired. I've held over 25 different volunteer roles in the church over the years. I was a young adult leader, a nursery worker,  Sunday School teacher, a Bible study leader, a home group host, the list goes on. 

Boomers raised our kids in the church, and now that they’ve grown, they’re forging their own spiritual paths. Many are no longer involved in church in the same ways we were taught to expect, despite the adage about training a child in the way they should go to prevent them from straying.

Some of us have health challenges, as I've mentioned. Some are invisible illnesses such as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and more. 

But mostly, those of us who have been in church a long time, have heard it all. It's all repeat to use. 

A stop along the way of our third move.

Others Have their Own Feelings

I came across a comment on a blog about this topic from a 70-year-old man who expressed his discomfort with worship leaders wearing torn jeans and sneakers while jumping around on stage like it’s a rock concert. Although he enjoyed band concerts in his youth, he felt this approach was disrespectful. For many, there’s a sense of sacredness associated with church; many my age long for transcendence in our worship experience. And, as another person commented, we aren't into what my mom called 7/11 worship songs--singing the same seven words eleven times.

More recently, a church startup trying to mimic other churches has employed inexperienced musicians and off-key singers as their worship team. Instead of leading shorter songs, they play worship anthems—tracks from popular Christian music you might hear on the radio. For many of us, this music feels new; the lyrics are unfamiliar, and the songs often drag on for too long because the original track is playing in the background. Some just stand there waiting for the painful music time to finish. Others only show up after the worship music segment has finished. 

What Next?

I know that God has told me not to sweat the small stuff, not to feel guilty if I need to miss church. And, God has told me it's okay to not know what is next in my spiritual journey.

He has urged me to cultivate my own spiritual growth, stay connected online with others, to pray, and to be the church where and when I can.