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Post 1 - Welcome - An Introduction to the Topic of Deconstruction, and Exploring Faith Beyond Tradition

Milkweed finishing.


For everything there is a season, and 
a time for every matter under heaven: Eccl 3.

Welcome to my newest blog. Whether you're a longtime reader or just discovering my work, I’m glad you’re here. In this space, I’ll be sharing thoughts on Exploring Faith Beyond Tradition—a theme that’s been on my heart as I’ve noticed how faith journeys evolve, especially in the modern context. 

For a few years now, my husband and I have been squirmy about attending church. I am a nighthawk who has always found it difficult to get up in the mornings. As time went on, I discovered there was a little more to my situation. I actually have mild chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). Church attendance was becoming more and more spotty for me especially since our children were grown. And if I wasn't going, my husband accepted the opportunity to stay home too.


Tinnitus and General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) 

In 2017, I came down with terrible high pitched constant tinnitus which led to a general anxiety disorder (GAD). Our church (PAOC) had changed pastors, and the new one had made changes. One change seemed to include new flashing lights, fancy backdrops, and a louder worship team (think electric guitars). We went to church during one Sunday, and the loud music triggered my tinnitus and brought on a panic attack. I had to leave the room. I think it was that day we decided we needed to move on. 

My husband and I visited several other churches between then and the pandemic shutdowns of 2020. We moved into a phase of nurturing our own faith--after attempting to follow some online church services. 

We learned during the pandemic - and I assume others did as well - that God was not going to bring down judgment on us for not going to in person church, (much to the chagrin of some teaching we'd heard for years). The government had ordered churches close for a time, and we chose to respect the government (unlike many other Christians we have heard of). 


In the distance is a church.
I love the view.

Over time, I discovered a theme called Deconstruction to describe a movement of many who have chosen to leave the church. Some are deconstructing their faith--asking questions about what they've been taught. Yes, culture plays a role. The younger generation are not staying in church to the degree their parents and grandparents have in the past. 

But many other reasons are at play. It's not all about questioning their beliefs. Sometimes they just have no time or patience for the standard format of church services today. There are many other options for how to spend your Sundays. Once businesses began staying open on Sundays, many people couldn't get to church since they had to go to work instead. 

My husband and I had amassed a number of reasons by then that we were done with church. For one thing, all churches in my area only have morning services. There seemed to be nothing fitting for a nighthawk with insomnia and CFS. And once we tried an alternative, we saw it was merely a copycat of all we've experienced. After being in church for 60+ years (me) and 30+ years (my husband), we'd heard it all. It was repetitious. 

And so we journeyed on not knowing what we'd do next. 


Cone flowers ending for the season.
There is a season for everything.

Fall of 2024

As my gardening season slowed down, I looked to God for a new project. I hadn't written much over the last three years and I missed it. But to authentically write, I had to feel something. I needed to feel there was a purpose behind my writing. 

And in September, 2024, a Facebook post jumped out at me on the topic of Deconstruction. I saw a book referred to and ordered it to read. I hoped to better understand the shifts happening within the Christian church in both Canada and the US. But moreso, I wanted to understand what I was going through and what to do about it. 






What! You're Not Attending Church? SHRIEK!

As I've said, my husband and I have found ourselves on a path of nurturing our spiritual life outside the framework of regularly attending a traditional church. This hasn’t been a sudden or reactionary decision but rather a place we’ve gradually arrived at during our spiritual journey. The reasons are many, though not dramatic. We're not deconstructing our faith but instead recognizing that, after years of being immersed in church life, things have started to feel somewhat repetitious.

Yes, I could easily feel guilty for not being connected to a church or attending services. In fact, false guilt creeps up on me from time to time because, of course, we all know the Bible says to not "forsake the assembling of ourselves together" (Hebrews 10:25). And believe me, I see this verse regularly plastered on social media when someone mentions they’re no longer attending church. It’s often thrown at them in an attempt to "set them straight."

But my perspective is different. I’m reminded of the Apostle Paul’s encouragement to the Philippians: take your faith seriously and strive to live in a way that reflects your salvation—whether you’re in a church building or not.

 
Philippians 2:12-13 ESVTherefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.


Queen Anne's Lace / Wild Carrot 
finishing for the season.

Work Out Your Own Salvation

While I’m not attending formal church services right now, I am mindful of the need to ‘work out my own salvation with fear and trembling,’ as Philippians 2:12-13 says. This passage reminds me that the spiritual journey isn’t about a place but about actively living out my faith. It’s a balance between my own efforts and recognizing that God is at work within me. 

For those in a similar situation, this is a reminder that the path to faithfulness isn’t tied to guilt or attendance but to how we live out what God is doing in our hearts.

Trying to discern what God is doing in our hearts is complex. Each person who is not currently attending church in person has their reasons. But I have been so happy to find there are others in the 'same boat' as I am currently. It is comforting to know God is still at work and there is a bigger plan unfolding. 

I share more of my journey in the blog posts ahead. Please follow the 'proceed' prompts at the bottom of each blog post so I can expand on my journey and this topic of deconstruction.




You may also be interested in some of my other blogs that explore topics ranging from creative living to Christian encouragement. Here are a few you can check out:



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