Post 17 - Murky Waters of Faith Challenges While My Canoe is Circling

 

Yikes,  the waters have been murky where I've been floating lately.

It is awful to me how much 'religious' intolerance there is "out there." So much so, individuals are afraid to declare they are a Christian. 

I've participated in social media a lot, recently leaving Twitter for Bluesky. And I've seen faith arguments on Facebook too—in comments. There are so many writers, journalists, and posters on social media who feel they need to qualify what they're about to share with, "I am not religious, but..." I wondered, why point out you are not religious? What is wrong with being spiritual? What is wrong with acknowledging you have a soul?

It could be because there are so many who make it their hobby to be on the attack against Christians, Jesus, and God. I think this kind of trolling is a favourite pastime for some—or simply the work of Satan. These types say the Bible is a fairy tale and that God doesn't exist. It makes me very sad to hear all of this. And, with the formation of "Christian Nationalism" in the US, many who know that group's political mandates have become antagonistic to all who call themselves Christian. Christian Nationalists are making a bad name for all Christ followers. 

When I have engaged with antagonistic people on social media, they have asked for my proof. My proof is answered prayers. Some prayers are answered quickly. Yes, when I ask God to help me find something, He has often shown me where to look right away. Other prayers have taken YEARS to be answered. There is a Bible verse that says, "You have not because you ask not." If you don't ask, you will never see the proof you seek.

Deconstructionists

I've also encountered deconstructionists on social media. Some sound a little jaded. Some are very much on the offensive in attacking the church—or so it seems. I have to wonder if they are all out of love. 

Yes, I've seen the corruption in churches. A Bluesky user named Beks regularly reports on pastors or volunteer workers of Christian churches who have been arrested or convicted of sexual assault, usually of a pedophilic nature. It's hard to digest.

I've connected with a former Amish woman who knows well about the abuse in the sect she is no longer part of. She's on a mission to put a stop to the abuse in that religious sect.

I have read the twisted rationalizations of those caught up in the Christian Nationalist movement in the USA. They've replaced God with a political candidate--Trump. They appear to worship him as one might worship a false idol. They rewrite the Sermon on the Mount with a forceful agenda full of hate. 

Non-Christians who are seeing this new onslaught are being granted a vision of Christianity that is disgusting. It's no wonder they are on the attack. And long-time Christians are reconsidering their beliefs too, not wanting to become entangled in the mix. 

We Must Fight for the Truth

As I've pointed out in these blogs, I have not left my faith. I pray all day long as needed or prompted to. I have a daily practice of turning to at least three devotional books at night to read a section and then write in my journal what I feel is being said to me. I close my eyes to hear from God through the Holy Spirit that lives inside me. I write a list of prayer requests and go back another day to see which ones God has answered. I put check marks besides those I have seen progress on. 

I don't pretend to know it all but I recognize my need for a higher authority. I count on God to give me wisdom daily especially as I go out to intermingle with others. I want to make right choices. I want guidance even when I'm shopping. I don't want to waste my energy on useless things. And so I pray. And I listen to nudges. And I pray for good mental health and physical protection.

I Don't Go to Church 

I have not attended a church service in a year now. I am in the number who feels it is irrelevant. It's time for change, but I don't know what that change will be. 

Interestingly, I go to exercise classes at church buildings. I follow these churches' updates online. 

ME/CFS Ministry

I emailed one church I happened upon on Youtube who shared in their Sunday service about a group they have to minister to those with chronic illnesses. They presented the "Spoons Theory"; a theory those of us with ME/CFS are well acquainted with. I was impressed and touched that they would have such a ministry. So by email, I reached out to them. My mind even swirled wondering if that was a God wink--a church I should visit Christmas Eve. A stop-off point for my circling canoe. 

But I never received a reply to my email. 

This week, I realized, when I go through these steps of checking out churches online, I'm still 'reaching'. Reaching for connection. Reaching to find home. And I know God says it's not time yet. 

This week, I saw my reaching as futile. A chasing after the wind so to speak. And once, again, I resolved to leave it with God. 

Proceed to POST 18